The Artist's First Confrontation With the Self

How intimidating it is to look yourself in the eye and...Draw your own face...#artist
— Sandra Alain (@salain_art) May 23, 2013

Yesterday the mood struck to sit on the floor of my studio (my new habit) and draw. Lacking inspiration I dug up a mirror and set it before one of the most difficult things I have ever tried to draw thus far: my face.

I have dipped my feet into the world of mirrors in past months, only drawing weird sometimes awkward and unflattering angles of my body in an attempt to study value, proportion, and muscle tone. But to draw the face of a human being is so meticulous. The standard formula doesn't apply. Following the natural movement of my pencil is not always trustworthy. Our faces are not perfect, symmetrical reflections of the ideal human image. I try to draw everything with truth to the subject, regardless of how flattering the end result may be. Not to say I don't think I'm pretty (just sayin').

I chose charcoal because I've been on a kick with it lately. I enjoy creating loose, fluid renderings, because I enjoy losing myself in the movement of drawing. I don't care about minute details, as long as I capture what it is that I intend to portray. With that said, the results of my first experimentations with self portraits from direct observation are.. expected, from a technical standpoint.

Will I choose charcoal again? Maybe, if I would like to go for a similar effect. But I would like to know what I can accomplish if I should really sit down with an unlimited amount of time and a tray of drawing pencils and erasers. What am I capable of with a mirror and a disciplined hand? I'd like to find out in the future.

At first it is strange to look at your face so closely. It is a face you see every day. A face that I, as a woman, often use as a canvas itself for makeup and fashion. You have to practice detachment from all that you know about what your face looks like, or what you think it should look like. You have to step down from the intimidation that comes along with staring at yourself so critically and objectively. Remember you are just drawing what you see: line, form, value.

Two drawings later and no natural light left, I shifted my intentions to drawing a more familiar subject. Yes, my cat has been the object of many art pieces since I was 9 years old. He is often photogenic, has interesting markings for replication, and was definitely a perfect model for learning gesture drawing. When I decided to draw him he was lying on my couch simply staring at me. Several times he turned his head to try to lay it down, and several times I called his name and made him snap back to attention-- miraculously and thankfully, always returning to the same position. After finishing about a quarter of his face I realized I had better not push my luck and decided to draw only half of his face. I like it that way, I think it is interesting.

I told him that this picture would make him famous. He put on an irritated "grumpy cat" face for me while I was drawing him, but then put on his best cute face for the camera. Naturally.

I hope you enjoyed my work from yesterday.